I guess I'm just thinking out loud

I have a couple of friends who DJ. Yesterday one of them needed to use my which recording studio. At first I told him "No" because after the Great Chrystal Meth Choke and Punch Debacle I was forced to put it disassemble everything and didn't feel like hooking everything back up and then breaking it all back down. But he really needed the favor or he was going to have to cancel his job for the night so I told him to come by. When he showed up we went and tried to hook it up and I couldn't find some important hardware...(which was really expensive too) so I couldn't do it. He left and I was left looking at all my old equipment and supplies. I hadn't thought about that stuff really since everything went bad. I guess I just blocked it all from my mind or more honestly neglected to think about it all. There was all the recording equipment, not to mention the silk screen machine and everything that goes with that contraption. I even found a big bad of T-shirts I forgot we bought. Looking at all this stuff reminded me of all the stuff I've been ignoring and neglecting, the people, the duties, the equipment. I have a bunch of friends who I haven't talked to in so long and I realized yesterday that I miss them. I have some phone calls to make and a letter to write. I am glad this is the last week of school because that will give me the time to get things back together and on track with my company.

Honestly this break from entrepreneurship has been pretty relieving and eye opening. For the first time since I was seventeen I had a chance to think about my life in terms of my life and not my company. It was honestly all I thought about. I didn't even know what I wanted out of life outside of it. Now I had a chance to think about what made me happy and what I wanted to do in life besides work on my company goals. I guess I'm saying my identity was so tied up in my company that it had become who I was and now I had a chance to develop myself instead of my company. not to mention if felt good to not having the stress of managing all sorts of things at once. All I had to do was worry about going to school and trying to make money. as stressful as those two things can be it felt like a break compared to what I was used to.

So now that school is out we are getting back to business but we already talked about how it's going to be different this time. After going and failing you gain so much more experience and a new perspective. I can see things that were not right the first time that will be fixed this time around and I'm really excited. I've always believed that quiting was the easiest way to ensure you never win. So there will be no quiting from me. Now that I'm writing this I am starting to see that best part about experiencing failure is it shows you that it doesn't end the world, and it doesn't last forever, it only last for a moment and after that it's over and it's time to try something new...life goes on and it's not that bad all the time